What I Wrote To My Future Child, Three Years Ago


July 2, 2015

My dear child,

I wanted to tell you that the real world will not always be as fun as it seems.

There will be times when life will punch you in the face. You will give your heart to people and they will break it. You will be given chances and they will be taken from you. You will have the strength to fix your life and find it in pieces soon after.

Life will not feel like it's worth it at most times, and you can just consider the option of jumping off a building.

I've had first-hand experience of the things I am telling you, and at this point of my life, I can say that I'm a mess.

I got fired from work because of drugs, my relationship with my parents is broken, and I'm with a married man. I owe my mother thousands in cash and have no idea how I can pay her back. I don't even have money to pay rent. I barely have cash to buy food. And I go to bed feeling lonely unless I'm high on drugs.

But baby I want you to know that I am not giving up. When you choose to do things, you've gotta keep it up. Integrity. Don't take like too seriously. Yes, you will have lows and have barely any reasons to live, but at the end of the day, only you can grant meaning to your life.

Yes, you will do things that may not make sense sometimes, and life itself won't even make sense, but that is just the beginning of it. You will again find a happy day in your life, I guarantee that.

Your plans will all be ruined but I'm pretty sure you will come up with new ones. 😊 It's okay to be emotional about your life, but hey, always remember that you are here to have fun. It's the only reason why I'm staying here. For the next fun. 😊

When times get difficult, always remember that you have your own energy. You don't need external sources to give you strength and peace of mind. These are things that you are capable of achieving for yourself.

Do not ever let yourself get lost in this world. Do not let life swallow you. Always own it.