Long, silent walks
I don't want to write Facebook posts anymore so I'll just take things directly here.
So here it goes.
I've been taking long walks lately, for health reasons. It's primarily physical (burn more cals) but I can find mental benefits, too. It gives me a safe and quiet space to think about things in my life.
Well, as of today, I'm like, “I'm taking my board and camping tent to Leyte and I'm entrusting it to a man I've known for less than 2 months.”
To be fair, I once entrusted my board to someone I've known for only like a couple weeks (and yeah, it was instant regret) but this time, it feels like a huge deal, a big commitment.
Basically, I'll be committing all of my surfing and most, if not all, of my vacationing time with him.
A big deal
My favorite part of life, the most treasured chunk of it, is somehow being put in the hands of this other person.
I know for a fact that 2 captains on one ship doesn't always account for a smooth ride.
Like, last night, I was invited to join their crew for a surfing event in Samar. Initially, I was all for it, then I kind of realized that things tend to be fucked up for me when I travel as part of a group.
Compromise is such a dreadful word
He was supposed to join the competition.
On the other hand, I couldn't go on a different date because my trip was already paid for and planned.
He decided to give way, I think. So now thanks to my visiting, he just missed an opportunity to compete. He'd rather just be with me so we could surf together.
Well, he did ask me to come over for Christmas.
I don't like being stuck in complicated situations. I don't like taking away from people or giving so much. I'm an uncaged bird, supposedly.
I thought all about this while having my long walk earlier today. Freedom is still my most valued virtue.
In the back of my head, I just thought, well if things go sour, I could always take my board and surf somewhere else; I've done it before.