City of Stars

I'm sipping turmeric tea while listening to City of Stars from “La La Land” Soundtrack. Yes, I am lonely. I am also tired.

I voluntarily deprived myself of comfort food and another cigarette today. Just ignore 3 more cravings or so and I'd be off again.

I'm still nursing a bit of cough and the green pleghm shows that I haven't recovered.

I want some silence.

Cooking my own meals and shopping for whole foods lately has given me a different perspective. I've also been exercising more rigorously. I don't know why I'm really doing this anymore, but being hands on on these things is kinda therapeutic.

I just gotta quit cigarettes again.

Today I tried to eat a cake but didn't finish it. Too much sweetness doesn't taste good to me anymore.

I'm not sure what's going to be the end of this, but as I'm writing this, I feel so alone and lonely. I could give him a call but I decide not to. I kind of just want to be alone with my thoughts.

There's a yearning inside me that somehow causes an ache. I wish I were at the beach. I wish I were sitting on my board.

The city feels like a huge trap.